Home Alone is the best Christmas movie tied with It's A Wonderful Life, no contest. It's also highly quotable, so, for a special Christmas blog post, I've compiled some of my favourite lines from the first two movies. Honestly, I wish I could individually list all of the Wet Bandit's screams of pain and Macaulay Culkin's facial expressions but the following bits of dialogue will have to do.
[convert to desktop view for best experience]
Home Alone (1990)
"Where's your mom?"
-"In the car."
"Where's your father"
-"He's at work"
"What about your brothers and sisters?"
-"I'm an only child"
"Where do you live?"
-"I can't tell you that"
"Why not?"
-"Because you're a stranger"
"I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property"
"Kevin, you're what the French call les incompetents"
"Keep the change, ya filthy animal"
"Kevin, you are such a disease"
"Where did he go?"
-"Maybe he committed suicide"
"KEVIN!!!"
"Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so"
"Why the hell did you take your shoes off?"
-"Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?"
"Eleven, including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partidge in a pear tree"
"Hey, I'm not afraid any more! I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more!"
*sees Old Man Marley*
*Kevin sprints back inside*
"This house is so full of people, it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!"
"You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?"
"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?"
"Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen"
"This is my house, I have to defend it!"
"I made my family disappear..."
"Buzz, your girlfriend...woof!"
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
"What kind of idiots do you have working here?"
-"The finest in New York"
"I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four flushing carcass OUT my door! 1...2... *fires gun* 3. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. *Fires again* And a happy New Year"
"You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas"
"This is Peter McCallister, the father. I'd like a hotel room please, with an extra large bed, a TV, and one of those little refrigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it."
"Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!"
[everyone] "I love you"
"Harryyyy, I've reached the top!"
[Marv steps forward and falls though hole to the basement]
"It's a nice night for a neck injury"
"And, ma'am, sometimes I do get into mischief. We all do!"
"Funnily enough, we never lose our luggage"
"Ma'am, my feet are hardly touching the ground. I'm barely able to look over the counter. How can I make a reservation for a hotel, making a reservation? I don't think so."
"KEVIN!"
Thanks for reading, send in your favourite Home Alone quotes on Twitter (@filmdomblog) or Instagram (cinematicwallflower).
I do not own any of the images used in this post.